While much has been said about the Welsh and Cornish communities who are soon to lose out on millions of pounds of EU investment, Age UK has suggested it could be the elderly who suffer most.
Many remain voters hold the elderly responsible for Britain’s imminent departure from the European Union thanks to their anti-EU attitudes and inhumanely high turnout.
Unfortunately for the elderly, research suggests that the 48% remain voters make up 79% of the UK’s charitable donations and are very good at holding grudges.
Francesca Moore, the CEO of Age UK, told reporters, “We’ve already had a third of our monthly-donations cancelled and our latest bake-sale in Skipton barely made a tenner. How are we gonna afford to brainwash volunteers to listen to old people?”
We asked one prominent young remain campaigner, Robert Fern, 19, why voters were taking their frustrations out on the charity, he told us “Well they’ve given away our future haven’t they? All so they can let out their latest little bit of racism before they die. I tell you, when their pensions shrink because there’s no immigrants earning tax to pay them I’ll be laughing!”
We asked Robert if he himself had voted and he admitted he hadn’t, “It was raining so I thought I’d have a Harry Potter marathon and by the time I’d finished the polls were closed.