The news that Daniel Craig wants to hang up his Walther PPK and leave the role of James Bond may have come as a surprise to many, but not as surprising as his replacement announced by Sony this morning.

In a press statement today Sony announced that camp comedian Alan Carr is to replace hyper-masculine hunk Daniel Craig. It is believed the decision was made to appease those who criticised Craig’s Bond as “too brutish”.

The announcement has shocked many, as bookies tipped black actor Idris Elba to replace Ian Fleming’s super-spy in a bid for Sony to establish themselves as an equal opportunities employer.

A spokesperson from Sony Pictures told bfnn:

“The thing is, everyone was complaining that we keep casting handsome white men to play Bond so we thought about Idris Elba but he was quite expensive and we figured if Bond can be black why can’t he be a gay man? It was either that or make him a wheelchair spaz or Bruce Jenner or something.”

Alan Carr is expected to start filming for the next instalment of the Bond franchise for a cinematic release in 2018.

Ian Fleming could not be reached for comment.