Shocking new figures recently released by the Office for National Statistics has suggested that just 2.5m Brits drink more than the recommended weekly limit, in a day.

Currently, the recommended weekly intake is 14 units, which equates to six pints of beer or seven glasses of wine.

There has been some doubt about the validity of the figures with one pub landlord struggling to recall the last time he saw someone NOT break the weekly limit in a single sitting. “I think there was limited supply due to rationing, or something,” he recalled.

Critics have suggested that people lied on the surveys in order to look good, but people may be more honest after Jackie Ballard, of Alcohol Concern, confirmed “There are no safe limits of consumption,” and that she herself was going out tonight to get Jackie Bladdered.

Further data suggests that only 58% of people claim to drink alcohol weekly, but a quick bfnn survey conducted at our local Wetherspoons found this to be false, with the number nearer to 98%.