ITV have announced that Piers Morgan is set to be replaced by the loveable, oriental scholar, Anjem Choudary.

Executive producers for the prestigious show listed Piers Morgan’s controversial outburst on the Women’s march last week, as well as his generally repugnant personality, as the main reason for ousting him. They have instead opted for the more placid, bubbly character of Choudary, who is likely to be an instant hit with the few educated, non-bigoted viewers of the show.

The dispute began during last week’s episode during a heated debate with the decaying, archaic bulldog, Ann Widdecome. Both Widdecome and the likeminded phlegm-ball Morgan collectively inferred that women should ‘Stop protesting and get back to the kitchen where they belong’. These views were instantly denounced by fellow co-host Susanna Reid, to which Piers could only retort, ‘Someone’s on their period’.

With popularity for the Britain’s Got Talent judge already lower than Dappy’s IQ, ITV were left with very little option except to cast him in back into the squalid pit from whence thy came. His new replacement, Anjem Choudary, is thought to be relishing the opportunity to express his outward and liberal views on such a wide platform.