In a shocking development from Westminster, Boris Johnson has been caught writing “Europe Iz Gay” on a toilet cubicle wall.
Johnson, best known for being a shit Gary Busey lookalike, was reportedly caught red-handed by the Secretary of State for Justice, David Lidington.
Lidington spoke exclusively to BFNN earlier, “As the Secretary of State for Justice, I have a duty to make sure that MPs are behaving themselves while they’re present in Westminster. Part of that duty is to make sure that no one is smoking in the bathrooms. So, every day at lunchtime, I do a toilet inspection.”
“This involves me peering under the cubicle doors, just to be sure. Some people think it’s a little weird or pervy but I’m only doing it because it’s my job,” explained the MP for Aylesbury. “And thank god I was doing it today, otherwise BJ (Boris Johnson) would have gotten away with writing that horrible slur on the wall of the cubicle.”
“We deal with all of these sorts of things internally,” revealed Lidington. “As a punishment, BJ will have to scrub all of the graffiti in the toilets and he’ll have to spend at least eight-hours actually in parliament over the next two months.”
According to Westminster sources, Johnson is now the chief suspect in another graffiti incident after “Theresa May Takes It Up The Shitter” appeared on a wall outside 10 Downing Street earlier this year.
However, it appears that this incident will not be investigated any further as there is no evidence to suggest the information written on the wall was false.