British Fake News Network or BFNN, has relaunched itself as a hard-hitting, 100% proper news website under the new name of British Alternative Facts Network.
They will be presenting actual alternative facts that have been rigorously thought out and have undergone thorough verification by a crack team of highly trained “Truth Agents”.
Our reporter told us “We’re sick of sitting in our underwear, eating cereal and writing mean stuff about people we’ve never met. Then spending twenty minutes writing a tirade of vitriol that nobody is going to read because only the title is moderately funny, and of course making sure to drag that weary gag out to between 250 and 350 words.
Lovely old Donald Trump has freed journalists from the fetters of reporting on one reality only, having to label their news articles as “satire”.
It’s going to save us a lot of time too. Instead of hearing some breaking news and then desperately scrabbling to get something snarky out before people forget about it, we can just write whatever shit we want.
It couldn’t have happened at a better time too. We were all worried that our articles might be censored on FB for being, “fake news” but from now on we can just claim that they are alternative fact. We’ve even made ourselves shiny “Press” lariats so that everyone will know how important we are. We’re going to be knee deep in vajay-jay, lads. FACT.”