Injured lightweight Cristiano Ronaldo has been found to have been hexed by fictional old book – The Bible.
Before the Portugal v France game tonight, Ronaldo was surrounded by what was thought to be moths – but later turned out to be locusts. The locust then re-appeared as Ronaldo lay injured before being stretchered off to end his night early.
Since being forced to take an early bath, the water of which turned to blood before his eyes, Cristiano has apparently been deluged in fiery hail and most of his livestock have perished.
It is not known what Ronaldo could have done to anger Furious Old Testament God, but it may be his pride and vanity violate the seven deadly sins.
News is yet to be reached as to whether anything has yet befoulded Ronaldo’s firstborn.