Angry cyclist and lycra-clad environment enthusiast, David Mould (46), is refusing to acknowledge that moving slightly to the left of his lane would ease the mounting traffic congestion forming behind him.

Extensive research into the field tells us that the relatively minor act of straddling the left side of the carriageway would help cars moving at a significantly higher speed than Mr Mould to pass through and get on with their day.

Despite this, short-tempered time waster David has hit out at suggestions he should afford the snaking queue behind him any more space.

“They need to treat us cyclists as if we were cars”, Mr Mould told us whilst wearing hilariously tiny shorts. “Just because I don’t have four wheels doesn’t mean I should be treated any differently on the road”.

When it was suggested to David that moving slightly to his left was not as arduously difficult as he seemed to be making out, he stormed out of the room.

Professional buffoon, Boris Johnson has come out in support of enraged cyclists the country over, saying he intends to introduce bicycle-only boroughs in London where cyclists can be “free from the vehicular oppression that is becoming all too commonplace”. Boris then curled up on a mat and had a little snooze.

Meanwhile, spiritual guru for bigoted morons, Jeremy Clarkson, has suggested cyclists be treated the same as a small furry creature that wanders to the middle of the road, and be mown down if necessary.