Following the infamous ‘flotilla’ events yesterday on the Thames where Brexit campaigner Nigel Farage’s boat was flanked by the HMS Bob Geldof, Farage has prepped a squadron of Spitfires with the next Boomtown Rats concert as their target.

According to a UKIP insider, Farage is gunning for revenge against The Dread Pirate Geldof, who is believed to still be at large after today’s high seas clash. Farage was campaigning on his boat, The Little Bismarck, down the River Thames before being interrupted by Remain-supporting pirates, yelling sea shanties and abuse through a loudspeaker system.
This has prompted immediate plans for retaliation from the UKIP camp, with Farage leaning on high profile figures in the military and the air force to rally a well armed spitfire squadron for malicious intent.

The rest of The Boomtown Rats have been taken into protective custody until it is clear how involved they were in Captain Geldof’s plans and until authorities are satisfied that they are no longer at risk from Farage.

This is not the only militia level activity surrounding the EU referendum as Midge Ure has been pictured in possession of high quantities of thermite. It is speculated this will be used for a guerrilla black op with prominent Brexit campaigner Boris Johnson as the target.