English born singer-songwriter Gareth Paul Gates is considering tragically dying in order to reinvigorate his musical career.
Gareth Gates came runner up on the hit ITV talent show Pop Idol, after releasing a few singles and appearing on Comic Relief Gareth saw his 15 minutes of fame fade away into a slow and steady decline into obscurity.
“Death is the only way forward for my music career. Look at all the publicity celebrities get after they die, if I die maybe finally I can get the exposure I need to sell some of my albums!”
This revelation comes after the wave of celebrity death that hit the news in late 2015 and early 2016. Inspired by this, Gareth hatched his plan to hit the media scene once more.
“I’m positive that I’ll make at least a tenner off a greatest hits album, but I really need to nail my death. I mean, Robin Williams hung himself, David Bowie died of cancer, I’m going to really sell this! Like getting hit by a train while saving a puppy or something.”
Gareth is planning to end his life tragically in the coming months and hopes that the profits from which will at least cover the costs of his funeral and the electric bill for the past 4 months. More on this story as it unfolds…
– Joseph Kerr