As the nation’s fatties try out the Christianity Diet by giving up chocolate, wine and other enjoyables, it seems that Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has climbed on the Lent bandwagon too. 

Although it was speculated that Osborne tripped balls in Parliament, the man himself claimed that he was merely “concentrating really hard”, and stated that he concentrated so hard that he “entered another realm, where time had no meaning and nothing mattered”.

Although the traditional purpose of Lent is “prayer, penance, repentance of sins, almsgiving, atonement and self-denial”, it’s thought that Osborne won’t be taking part in any of those. However, the Pope has praised Mr Osborne’s efforts to participate in the longstanding Catholic tradition of ignoring traditions and inventing one’s own for the sake of convenience.

Speaking to press on Thursday, one day after his decision to detox in the run up to Easter, the MP said he is already finding the feat “nigh on impossible”.