Usually the death of a 90-year-old man would not be considered suspicious, but with the imminent arrival of Season 6 of Game of Thrones, the demise of acclaimed former manager of The Beatles, George Martin, has rattled a few cages.
This is because it is believed that the creator of all things Tits & Dragons has had a heavy, murderous hand in his namesake’s death.
R.R. Martin is certainly no stranger to murder. He has hacked to death so many of his literary figures that Game of Thrones now has a higher cast rotation than gritty London docu-soap Eastenders – though the characters of Westeros are marginally more cheery when they die as they haven’t had to look at Ian Beale’s ghoulish mug for 6 and a half months.
Rumours of a rift between the Martins occurred when R.R. was heavily credited for his work with The Beatles back in the 1960s, which overshadowed his pride for his hack-and-slash porno-fantasy. Since then he has always harboured a secret desire for The Beatles manager to have “The Mountain have a go at him” and to leave him the one true famous George Martin.
Indeed it was proposed a few years previously, by Martin, for Sean Bean to play the so-called – “fifth Beatle” in a documentary, due to Bean’s track record of dying in everything except Vicar of Dibley (disputed).
Currently, we are unsure whether skull-crushing, poisoning or being-caught-unaware-on-the-throne was the cause of Martin’s death but the investigation continues.