Notable failed parent Gerry McCann (who probably interferes with cats), has poured scalding water over the recent sightings of his lost daughter Madeleine by assuring the press that she was well buried.

Rumours have buzzed through the press in recent days after a girl approximately the same age as what Maddie would be now was spotted living rough on the streets of Rome, prompting punters to declare that the poor child had finally been found.

However, after discussions with Gerry, the feline rapist confirmed that the Italian vagabond couldn’t possibly be his sweet daughter, saying “we dug her deep so she would have a lot of earth to fight through”.

Gerry re-assured those worried that his terrible secret had finally been exposed that the shovel that had been used for the dirty work was guaranteed customer satisfaction.

“I purchased it from B&Q and they told me that I’d have no problems making a night’s work of 6 feet of earth”.

“I mean yeah there were concerns that the chloroform would wear off while she was still in the trunk of the car but nothing such happened. There’s absolutely no way this girl in Rome is our daughter”.

Somewhat realising he was incriminating himself, Gerry backtracked quickly saying “any information anybody has would be a great help. We just want her home”.