Controversy as bank boasts “ISAs for Islam” and “Mortgages Mohammad would be proud of”

Halifax Bank PLC caused a stir this week after temporarily re-naming themselves “Halalifax” in order to promote cultural and ethnic diversity and reach out to Muslim customers.

The bank was founded over 160 years ago in West Yorkshire, an area well-known for its progressive stance on cultural issues, and positive forward thinkers for the banking group believe the move to be a bold step into the unknown for the finance industry.

“We at Halifax – sorry Halalifax – believe banks are bastions of trust and should be so for customers of all religious persuasion”, said spokesthing Carly Wrackshaw. “No bank has ever done so much to appeal to everybody who banks with them – NatWest excluding Middle Eastern clients for example. This is the kind of thing that needs to be done to show that we are an inclusive organisation”.

But not everyone has taken kindly to the news that the bank has chosen to become a more religiously pure version of itself.

“It’s just another example of pandering to the Muslamics that I hate”, said Angry Repressed Homosexual Bigot 141. “Just because they’re getting offended that no-one wants to offer them loans doesn’t mean we should name a bank after them. My credit rating is shit but no-one is setting up the Bank of Ron. Fucking gets on my tits”.

Time is too short to tell of the real-world impact of the move but cuddly extremists ISIS have expressed their displeasure of the step towards religious unity by beheading former Halifax mascot Howard by VT.