Following in the footsteps of Stanford rapist Brock Turner, vandaliser of Hollywood, Zachary Cole Fernandez, has pleaded guilty to rape to shorten a potential custodial sentence.
Fernandez is set to face up to 3 months in prison, as opposed to the 6 months he was originally charged with for trespassing.
“Yanksy” took the advice of his defence attorney to plead guilty to rape, following the shining example of heroic Turner, who proved that neither the law nor a woman’s clothes should stand in the way of what you want.
Fernandez’s attorney Eldred Spunkclat had this to say:
“What the U.S. justice system shows is that if you’re a young male then you may as well attack some women cos no self-respecting American judge is gonna give you more than community service”.
Fernandez is currently believed to be frantically searching for his bronze swimming certificate to help him at his hearing.