A scientist who responded honestly to his wife when she asked how she looked in a new dress, has produced a report rubbishing the long held proverb which extolled the virtues of being truthful.

“It was something I’d always suspected,” said Professor Ivan Gospel from his spare room on Tuesday. “But this latest debacle confirms it.”

The wife of the dejected boffin explained that she had been feeling a little frumpy recently so she went into town to treat herself to a new hairdo and a new frock.

But when she brought it home and modelled it for her husband, she asked him if her ‘bum looked big’ in it, and he replied, truthfully, that it did.

“When I said ‘be honest’ I didn’t really mean it, obvs,” She explained, before adding, “The prick.”

It is said that the report, which extends to three pages of A4 written in biro and entirely in capitals, has gone down well with people who have job interviews this week.

Buoyed by his success, Professor Gospel has decamped to Harley Street to conduct a new study which queries whether or not laughter really is the best medicine.

– Steve Blair