With the news that David Cameron will be stepping down as Prime Minister as of October still ringing in our ears, speculation is rife as to who will be next in number 10.

A rank outsider has been storming ahead in the polls today becoming firm favourite to be next leader of the Conservative party and thus Prime Minister – Inanimate Carbon Rod.

A spokesthing for the Rod told BFNN:

“The British people want a new kind of politician, a new kind of leader. The Inanimate Carbon Rod is not like all the other Tory MPs, the Rod has never told a lie. Which is why will be launching our slogan ‘In Rod We Trust’. Who would you rather run your country? Someone who systematically dismantles the NHS, welfare for the disabled and the education system, or something that just sits there and does nothing. Heck, the Rod has never been sexually intimate with a pig carcass, so it’s already one-up on the last guy.”

Traditionalists may be skeptical about having an Inanimate Carbon Rod as PM as traditionally the roll has always been taken by a human. However it does need to be reminded that between 1979 and 1990 the United Kingdom had an evil Zombie-Lizard as Prime Minister, so there is already a precedent.

BFNN is happy to throw its support behind the campaign. Think about it, if your options are Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and an Inanimate Carbon Rod, it’s a real no brainer.