Firstly let me point out that the sports massage element refers to giving rather than receiving. There is also an interesting clause in the phone wank proposal which I will explain in due time.

Yeah, not really a decision which comes up a lot, nor is it an easy one to make. Of course, you could always choose to do neither.

‘Black looking for free sports massage’

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What an odd platform to use for a perfectly acceptable service. I mean, asking for a specialist service for free is a tad rich, but there is nothing particularly sleazy or untoward about an innocent sports massage. Another odd thing is that he describes himself as ‘str8’ but is looking for another male to perform the massage. There is nothing really wrong with this, it just seems odd to specify, perhaps he doubts a woman’s ability to get the job done.

The idea of someone putting this on Craigslist is just funny. It makes you presume there is an underlying subtext of sexual activity which I genuinely think there isn’t. This proposal wouldn’t be completely untoward on Facebook.

‘Phone wank over female celebs’

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I never considered masturbating over a celeb to be a team sport. To be honest, I rarely consider masturbating to celebrities, it lacks the element of realism even in comparison to a pornstar.

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Let’s presume that you are a person who also loves Rachel Riley et al, is this the kind of thing you could enjoy whilst on the phone to someone else? Maybe. More than likely not. Let alone talking about what I would like to do to her. The idea of talking while wanking in this situation seems not only a bit distracting but also very awkward.