Following the damning report of Leicester Prison deeming it “not fit for habitation” and increasing levels of self-harm, drug and alcohol use, bfnn has uncovered testimony from a former prison guard.

Former Chief Security Officer at Leicester Prison Dean Blake, who asked to remain nameless, spoke to bfnn about the treatment of prisoners earlier today:

‘Oh we had a right laugh. Yeah they were bad lads who had been up to no good in the past, but they were still lads. It was all just banter. We used to play games with the inmates to build a sense of community. Prison twister, Prison hungry-hungry hippos, prison kerplunk, it was great!’

Blake continued: ‘Prison Hide-and-seek was probably the inmates’ favourite. Us guards would all close our eyes and count to 200 and the lads would all run off and hide. If they tried to hide in the same spot as someone else they were allowed to fight for the place. Often we’d get to the showers and they’d be giving some young lad a right kicking, it was just the rules of the game.’

‘They took the game so seriously we put up a league table with record holders. The current holder, I believe, has been hiding for 3 months and 4 days, and still hasn’t been found, amazing, just absolutely quality hide and seek’

‘In terms of keeping track of the prisoners, with hindsight, Inmate hide-and-seek probably wasn’t a good idea, but you live and learn, still top banter though.’