The Islamic State, known also as ISIS or Daesh, have claimed responsibility for a Muslim immigrant winning gold for Team GB in the Men’s 10,000m.
Somalian born Mo Farah, known famously as the creator of Quorn chicken and for running some races, ran 10k in an astonishing 27 minutes last night, and buddy terrorists ISIS have been quick to claim him as one of their own.
“Yeah we taught him that”, said a Dementor speaking on behalf of the group. “We don’t just teach young muslims how to assemble AK-47s and build IEDs. We train them how to run very fast away from immigration officials and that’s what we did with young Mo. He’s our very best sleeper agent”.
Bigoted shitstirrers, The Daily Mail, have been up in arms at the idea of a Islamic immigrant flying the Union Jack in Brazil, and have started a petition to have “athletes” of their own competing for gold.
45 year old John Barker, enthusiast of lager, kebabs and domestic violence is reported to already been on the plane out to Rio.