News is emerging that Israeli ground forces have shot and killed and unarmed philistine in the West Bank region.

Reports show that a young philistine was killed earlier this morning, after showing a general disinterest in Israeli culture, and an indifference to the Israeli Governments political strategy. Conflicting reports are still emerging, but it is believed the victim referred to a falafel and hummus wrap as ‘tasteless, veggie crap’, while also adding that both the Israelis and Palestinians should ‘stop crying over spilt milk’.

More updates to follow.