In a particularly open and intriguing interview with BFNN, the multi-millionaire novelist has for the first time revealed the beneficial role of psychoactive substances in her writing.

For many adoring Potter Fans like me, the archetypal backdrop I imagine when Rowling was in mid creative-flow would surely be the iconic, quaint, Edinburgian coffee shop, where she was believed to have penned the bulk of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. With the hum and bustle of the vibrant city providing ample inspiration for characters and creatures, plus a skinny chai latte offering warm, frothy lubrication, what could provide better stimuli for writing a best-selling fiction book?

‘‘Drugs.’’ Rowling said politely with a wry smile. After requiring a few moments for me to regain some composure, the Exeter graduate detailed to me the strong influence of hallucinogenic narcotics throughout most of her literature. ‘‘It began in a very modest fashion,’’ Rowling began. ‘‘I had been working on this god-awful fantasy about vampires and werewolves falling in love, but it was tripe. After smoking a J with some schoolkids in an alley, an idea came to me during particular warm, cosy, high moment. Wizards. School. Diagonal alleys.’’

The author then explained how every night after this epiphany she’d attempt to re-enter this frenzied, creative mind-set. ‘‘I’d light and write, light and write. I was churning out chapter after chapter. I don’t even remember conjuring up Neville Longbottom, I was baked off my tits.’’ Joanne then explained how as the Harry Potter series progressed, she would increasingly turn to more daring drugs.

‘‘The Chamber of Secrets was still primarily just weed and hash,’’ she explained. ‘‘But towards the end of the manuscript, the creative highs reached during first book were becoming increasingly elusive.’’ Rowling went on to describe how the works of fellow Scottish author, Irvine Welsh, provided the additional catalyst needed to spur her on.‘‘I read Ecstasy and Glue, and realised that my literary aspirations were not being matched by my chemical intake. I called my dealer immediately, and then the real fun began. That week we had a four-day bender on shrooms, acid, ket, MD, you name it. I was sitting in the toilet in a semi-lucid state, staring at what I had just produced in the toilet pan. Sinister. Menacing. Putrid. BASILISK’’.

New installments called for new chemical stimulants. New stimulants lead to more weird and wonderful creations retrieved from the psychedelic mind. ‘‘I have no fucking clue what a Horcrux is, but you can thank ayahuasca for that one!’’ she revealed. The final installment however was to be her pièce de résistance and this called for something special. ‘‘I had a vague idea of how I wanted it to finish. Hermione was a lesbian. Snape was Harry’s true father, and cuts off Harry’s arm during an epic wand duel. But it just didn’t seem,… know, niche enough. I hired a group of Bolivian shamans and we meticulously searched the dark web for something, something catatonic. We settled on a concoction of DMT (Dimenthyltryptamine) and lysergic acid intravenously injected during an iboga ceremony, culminating in multi-person tantric sex. I think this really came through in the plot, the Death Eaters chasing the guys in London was a milder version of my trip, and then the romantic element with Ron and Harry and Hermione at the end’’.

Despite Joanne’s frequent dabbling’s with hard hallucinogens, the author fully-supports the hard-line anti-drug stance of the Conservative government including the recent criminalisation of all psychoactive substances. ‘‘We can’t just have any old Tom, Dick and Harry running around tripping balls writing multi-award winning publications can we? Where’s the fun in that?.’’