Everybody that prefers their news McCann free is about to be disappointed as nobody’s parents of the year have successfully applied to appear on Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents.

The BBC 3 show approached the loose-fingered couple, intent on prising them away from their busy lives as negligent parents, to appear on their new series.

A spokesman for the show explained the seemingly bizarre decision:

“Obviously with what’s gone on in the past with these two we can understand why people are a little more than skeptical about our choice of contestants, but honestly we feel there is nobody that better fits the bill. The sex part is a little hard to come by but certainly they enjoy the sun. We’ve seen that. And they’re most definitely suspicious parents to say the least”.

The teenage-alcopop-fingerthon centres around parents sneakily eavesdropping on their sproggs while they get up to all sorts of mischief while on holiday with their friends, usually in the form of a hidden camera crew tracking their movements, filming them vomiting into bushes and having to be fireman lifted out of clubs, all while the parents look on shocked and appalled.

However, producers are worried, what with the programme run time being 60 minutes, that the McCanns won’t have the interest to supervise their children for that long.