A local town bus driver has been labelled an “utter and complete twat” by commuters, in news that will surprise absolutely nobody.

Kevin Sampson drives the 48 between Swindon and Marlborough but may as well be driving a rickshaw around rural China for the level of service offered by him.

Sampson was widely known to be abusive, for not lowering ramps for old people, and for taking extra long fag breaks at every stop. Being a staunch bigot with right-wing views, he was one to neither tolerate nor carry change.

A swift customer satisfaction survey ran by the bus company asked commuters to nominate their favourite drivers. The survey was pulled when they realised it had the same effect as Kate & Gerry McCann running a Sure Start parenting class.

But one gleaming insight from the survey revealed Sampson to be the biggest wanker employed by the company. His overall satisfaction rate returned 96% dissatisfaction – a figure ratified by his estranged ex-wife.

Most people asked said they were appalled by the way the driver spoke to his passengers. Half said they had personally been verbally/emotionally/physically abused for Kevin. One lady said she had taken to walking the 10 miles to work every morning rather than take the 48 while one irate customer blotted his blood-soaked form with the word “Hate”