People living on the West Coast of England were today shocked at the sight of swarms of scots chasing what seemed to be the Loch Ness Monster. On further inspection, the beast was swimming for its life close to the shore, as huge amounts of angry Scots rushed after it.
Leading the pack, and looking like a poor avatar cosplay, war painted Nicola Sturgeon hurled spear after spear at the beast. BFNN has received tips that the anger of the Scottish people has been caused after the monster was too open about it’s political views.
A drinking buddy of the monster spoke to us this just now: “Nessie was a reit straecht shooter, but ‘en we asked heem whit he thooght ay our queen- erm MP Nicola sturgeon”
Our translator informs us that this means “Nessie was a good person, but then we asked him what he thought of Nicola Sturgeon.”
It is reported that ‘Nessie’ said something along the lines of “I think that Labour would be better for Scotland.”
Apparently this is when the whole affair went downhill, clamors were drawn from scabbards and the Scots began to chant. Sturgeon herself decided to lead the hunt, informing the monster that the English could accommodate it instead, as it would probably have a better reception than a few refugees.
BFNN will continue to keep the chase updated, as we are informed that the beast is still on the swim, though is quickly becoming as elusive as Scottish independence.