Footage has emerged showing Britain’s primed mincer, Theresa ‘strong and stable’ May, claiming she wouldn’t mind legalising “the killing of a few peasant children” and that she had “always supported this policy”.

The footage obtained by Channel Flaw News shows ‘fast and furious’ May, 87, telling factory workers in Leeds: “I think the proposal is modest, and the message is clear: allowing our Conservatory government to sacrifice one peasant child per peasant household, will reduce the benefits bill by roughly £200bn, making everything strong and stable.”

The footage has, understandably, caused some controversy among society’s rabble.

Bentley-May, a fifteen-year-old mother of three from Hounslow, said “I int eva eard ov such a polity but it int sumink I fink no one guna wan coz muvas luv dem babeez fuk ovv”. This sentiment appears to be shared by much of Britain’s down-and-outs.

Sir Geoffrey Lamminster-Bairruffian of the Countryside Alliance disagreed with the council estate scum however, claiming “We have forever lobbied for such a policy towards the peasant children. Culling is the only way to keep the numbers down, and the budgets in check”.

So, it seems as though the policy may have some support, although not across the board. ‘Rib and saucy’ May has pledged to conduct an investigation into the likelihood of peasant families wanting to give up their childrens, in the near future.

There is, however, a positive out-look for a full-scale roll-out of the policy, as in 2007 the McCann family of Leicestershire demonstrated the potential success for such a policy, as the family are now multimillionaires and best-selling authors.

– D. Bennett