Famed flubber-fingered couple, Kate and Gerry McCann have been defiant this week in assuring everybody that their loose parenting skills have played no part in the events unfolding around the loss of 9,000 immigrant children in Germany.

“We weren’t even in Germany at the time” insisted forlorn fairweather father Gerry. “Kate and I have been busy with promotion for our new book ‘Maddie: Have you tried over there yet?‘ so we haven’t had time to jet over to Germany. We prefer South of France anyway. Much nicer”.

Suspicions arose around the Leicestershire couple after the chilling stat that close to 9,000 unaccompanied refugee children that have entered Germany since the start of the year are missing.

Fingers were initially pointed at terror group Boko Harum but a spokesperson assured us their consent forms won’t allow for a party of 9,000 to be taken on school trips.

The spotlight then shifted to the individuals most capable of making children disappear aside from the BBC in the 1970s.

However, despite their views on negligent childcare, the McCanns continue to profess their innocent over this tragic loss of tot, although Kate says she’s been wondering if Madeleine may have made it to Germany and got swept away in the 9000.

Evidence on the matter is, as yet, incredibly sparse, and police chiefs linked to the case maintain no suspects have been named though early reports say the McCanns have reportedly been largely dropped as potential suspects owing to the lack of financial incentive compared to their own multi-million pound lucrative child-losing industry.