This is the disturbing news that a Furby, purchased by a Newcastle mother for her daughter’s Christmas present, is fluent in anti-Western rhetoric, sparking fears of ISIS involvement.
Popular in the late 1990s, Furbies are cute electronic furballs that speak a variety of phrases, enough to fool gullible children into treating them as an actual household pet.
As technology has progressed, so has the Furby advanced, with a 2014 U.S. Military programme even going so far as to use them to unleash drones against the Middle East 
Now, however, clickbait reactionaries are worried that the furbies are being remotely controlled by ISIS extremists in the bid to radicalise our nice Western children.
Confused mother, Heather Knufflepuff told us of her alarm at the discovery:
“I opened the box to check everything was working as it should and it started talking at me in broken Arabic and shouting ‘Death to the West!’. I’m horrified that this could have been heard by my daughter on Xmas Day if she had opened it. I put it back in its box and tried to return it but it yelled at me for being an oppressor and told me my days are numbered“.
The shop responsible for the jihadist Furby have issued an apology for their part in the event, assuring parents that they will, from now on, be putting all children’s toys through a rigorous citizenship test to determine their exact political leanings.