Die-hard fans of BBC1’s flagship series have been left disappointed this week as the new shows have no borderline racist content. Since Jeremy Clarkson was fired (for punching an Eskimo in the face last year) the Beeb have had to relaunch the programme with Chris Evans and Joey Tribbiani as presenters.

“I thought they were getting a ginger in so Joey could take the piss out of him” said frustrated fan Norman Londis “I missed my UKIP meeting specially to stay at home and watch the new Top Gear and it was just cars and stuff. I want to see Clarkson and the Hamster insensitively drive a B-52 bomber over Hiroshima, not see ginger-balls and Joey test Audis on an industrial estate”

The show has also been panned on Twitter, with trolls left bemused after the Top Gear team were filming in Germany but didn’t take the opportunity to make any jokey references to World War 2. “Could Chris Evans at least do a bit of goose-stepping? Give the ppl what they want!” Said Twitter user MillwallFC1990, who was also upset that Evans refused to black-up for an episode shot in Jamaica (“Clarkson would have done it – it’s PC gone mad”)

“It’s a new direction for us” read a namby-pamby statement from the shows’ producers: “in this day and age causing offence is so controversial we would prefer to make the show in a new way – we really think our viewers will get used to One Show and Radio 2 presenters driving at a sensible speed with a Coldplay soundtrack, if they miss the racist bants so much they should tune in to Channel 4 like everyone else”