Maybe we should have got OFSTED in to approve this first“. Those were the words of the doomed headmaster of a school in Chibok, Nigeria where 200 schoolgirls were taken on an extremely extended school trip just over two years ago by terrorist organisation Boko Haram – famous more for its penchant for extreme violence than organising trips to local monuments

What kind of destination the group decided upon is unknown, though reports of everything from suicide bombing to physical assault began to filter back to the school – activities which the headmaster assured us were not signed off by any member of his staff

They didn’t actually say where they would be taking the girls. In fact I don’t remember them saying very much at all, I just remember being held against a wall with a machete to my neck. Effective negotiators if you ask me.”

For two years, the concerned parents have wondered what kind of school allows for an indefinite trip such as this to take place. The school is known to fund the occasional week long holiday – sometimes to Cameroon or to Chad – but never a 24 month expedition into dense forest.

The parents are unanimous in declaring it ‘the worst trip ever’, and have raised serious questions about the school’s policies. One father told us that he was not even asked to sign a consent form to allow his daughter to be taken by armed mercenaries.

I wouldn’t even give it 1 star“, said one mother, whose twin girls were taken in the heist. “The girls have been on trips with the school before and usually they’re all very positive. I think this new group [Haram] shouldn’t be kidnapping anybody to take on trips. Have they had CRB checks? I doubt it“.

Boko Haram themselves could not be reached for comment, on account of being a highly covert terrorist group with a fondness for not being caught by the government