Resident gun enthusiast fuckwits, The National Rifle Association have called for Spanish matadors to be better tooled out after one was heroica- err tragically gored to death earlier this week.

“These good honest Mexicans are being killed by unprovoked, wild animals and the time has come to make a change”, said NRA spokesthing Tracey Swallows. “And just because they’re Mexican, which isn’t their fault, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have the same constitutional rights in the face of danger.

It’s clear that the bits of cloth these guys are using to defend themselves are ineffective. They need good old American assault rifles. Stick a bull against an MI6 automatic and see what happens. It’s the right to bear arms against the right to not get killed by cows”.

Other Americans are similarly up in arms at the rise from 0 to 1 in deaths from livestock, despite some being only marginally more advanced.  Walking enzyme Travis Chuck had this to say:

“If a bull or a chicken runs at me i’ma pop out my 12 gauge and aim right between their beady little eyes. I thought this was a free country!”.

Animal rights’ hippies have been quick to point out that if matadors are to be armed then it’s only fair that the bulls are sent in the ring packing too.