The National Rifle Association have been left stunned today with the news that their ‘good guys’ with guns are actually doing very little to stop murders by ‘bad guys’ using the same.
That over-simplified mantra has helped limit the US to a measly 11,000 firearm murders a year.
Sunday marked a tragic blot on the United States’ otherwise impeccable firearms record as 3 police officers have been killed and another 3 injured by a bunch of gun-wielding fuck nuts in Louisiana, where the motives for the attack are as yet unknown but suspicions are it is fallout from the events surrounding Alton Sterling.
Amid the horror of the shootings, gun enthusiasts the country over are confused as to why good people armed with guns aren’t able to stop people being riddled with bullets.
Executive vice-president of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, explained to us: “Usually when someone is shot in the USA it’s because they were being careless and left their gun at home, but these police officers were on duty and armed. So really we’re unsure as to how this happened. We’ve always believed that good guys with guns will always neutralise the bad guys wanting to do bad things but it doesn’t seem to have worked here. Maybe we need to arm the good guys twice”.
In a statement to the press, President Obama facepalmed and sighed “fuck this shit”.