Nobody’s favourite bunch of jumped-up, bullet-loving fuckwits, the National Rifle Association, have condemned the ban on assault rifles at Olympic shooting events as “unconstitutional”.
Chief gun prick, Wayne LaPierre, claims that the “long rifles only” rule at the shooting in the Rio Games has ruined the spectacle for everybody, and the use of fully automatic weaponry is completely sensible.
“There’s just no evidence to suggest assault rifles are any more dangerous than regular rifles”, LaPierre had to say. “Not to mention that they are a part of our culture. With fully automatic weapons you have much more a chance of hitting the target so they’re actually discriminating against our heritage and history by not allowing them”.
The Olympic Committee have always held a strong stance against the use of death-bring machines with the ability to turn a 6 year old child into burger meat in a matter of seconds. They’ve also managed to make shooting events safer by having the athletes shoot at lifeless targets rather than the soft, squidgy citizens that Americans are used to firing their weaponry at.
Professional nuisance and part-wig, Donald Trump, has been quick to jump on the bandwagon by saying that if he becomes President he will lend his power to changing the current shooting events so the United States can ensure gold. He has said he will change all standard-issue arms to M16s and will replace the bullseye targets with fleeing Mexicans.