Street Cleaning Simulator (PC DVD)
streetcleanerStreet Cleaning Simulator is one of those games which I imagine or gained notoriety amongst stoners/hipsters who loved the tongue-in-cheek irony of playing such a mundane seeming game. Had I not already begun writing and digging into Street Cleaning Simulator, I would have probably chosen to look into Chemical Spillage Simulator, I am glad I didn’t as the comments and reviews are nothing too special, I think they missed a trick there.

Street Cleaning Simulator’s reviews include such gems as this:

‘Think Carefully before you buy this’

This sounds pretty bloody ominous. Is this game one of those ones which somehow results in the loss of my life? When you read this, alarm bells begin to ring, do you want this game in your house? I cannot answer these questions based upon this review alone, I will have to read on…

‘So I just got off a 4 day stint, working real hard cleaning the streets of Detroit of all its impurities. That’s right, I’m an honest trash man. It’s me you can thank for keeping Motor City a place that all of America can look up to. And when the day is done, what better way to spend my time than brushing up on the skills in a co-op game with my good buddy Russ. Now look, I don’t want you all to get the wrong idea here. See, I don’t always play simulators. Just ain’t my thing. But Street Cleaning Simulator is just… different. The refuse animation engine they’ve got doing all the backend work is just about photo realistic. You can practically smell the streets, that’s just how real it is. Does something for me. The boys at Central say there’s talk of adding a couple Scania P270 side-loaders to our collection, come September, maybe sooner. First time I unlocked the P270, the little fuzzies all stood up. You know, the ones on the back of the neck. They all stood up at once – really was some feeling. Take it from a Pro, this here is more than just some simulator. It is a gateway to a way of life.’

Wow. That is very in depth. I’m not sure whether this is another joke or not. I really hope it isn’t. Therefore I am going to pretend it is all completely serious. I feel like I know more about this guy than most of my friends and family know about me. I don’t even know what I can say that this doesn’t already say. When this review says, “The boys at Central say there’s talk of adding a couple Scania P270 side-loaders to our collection,” I feel as if I was somehow privy to this conversation and that I am, in fact, one of the boys.