A notorious paedophile has spoke out angrily about constantly being asked if he’s catching Pokemon while he spends the evenings hanging around the local recreational area.
Guy Incognito, 42, has for many years gone about his kiddy-watching duties at the park at relative ease, but as revitalised franchise, Pokemon, has kids running around hunting the same, he has found it harder to be taken seriously as an underage bot-admirer.
“Before Pokemon GO, when I used to hang out down here”, said Incognito from the swings, “there would just be the usual groups of kids: those playing football, those walking dogs; those playing frisbee, the smokers, the drinkers, those shooting up and Creed fans”.
“Now though there are kids everywhere and all of them keep coming up to me and asking if i’m catching Pokemon. I think the park is the local gym or something so you get 4 or 5 of them hanging around ‘battling’ or whatever and then they piss off and another group comes and does the same. Usually this would be Christmas for someone like me but i’m sick of being asked to join in. I don’t want to catch a fucking Nidoking, I just want to be feared as a diddler again”.
Incognito was keen to emphasise to us that he has never played the game, nor has he ever wanted to and wishes to be taken seriously as a paedophile again. What we do know however, is that if you’re in the shower, he is likely to Pikachu.