Paul Nuttall – known as ‘Nutty’ to his fellow squirrels – has spoke of his excitement of temporarily warming the United Kingdom Independence Party throne over the Christmas period as he was announced the new leader this week.
Nuttall (40 but looks 56) applied for the job after seeing the advert on Reed, and confessed it came at the right time as he was otherwise to be waiting in the dole queue during the festive period.
“It’s a full time job but only for like 5 weeks” explained Nutty. “The hours are good but there is a lot of stress involved with the job.
Day-to-day the role consists of trying to raise the profile of UKIP by posting illiterate, bigoted ramblings on social media and punching Conservative dissenters”.
Nuttall applied for the role on the back of advice given by his Job Centre advisor, after a short lay-off from the world of work.
“Paul wants to work he just finds it hard to function in life”, said the advisor.
“This opening presents a real opportunity for him to launch a career in politics. Or near enough anyway. It’s only a temporary role but it will give him the necessary experience should he wish to pursue a career in the Commons further.
In reality he’s only keeping the seat warm ’till they can ensure a more permanent placement. Rumours abound of a young upstart named Nigel Farage coveting the title”.