Following months of continual erratic outbursts and constant incoherent rants, Kanye West has cancelled his Saint Pablo tour in order to pursue an alternative career in politics.
Having no previous political experience and being incomprehensible at best, West’s bizarre behaviour is a desirable attribute for any wannabe President of the United States.
A spokesperson for the White House released a statement earlier today commenting on Kanye’s current situation:
“Devastatingly bad judgement and a complete lack of moral fibre is something we generally look for in a presidential candidate. Although Washington has been lacking in poor taste for many years under the command of President Obama, we are hoping that Kanye has the potential to restore the importance of ego and to make America more influential than Picasso again. Period.”
Meeting the stringent criteria however hasn’t been all that easy for Kanye, it seems to have taken years of verbally abusing his friends and colleagues and his continual degrading sexualisation of women to get him to this point in his career. Being mentally unstable has been a massive contributing factor in West’s popularity, with admittance to a psychiatric facility only furthering his success.
Speaking to his fans on Saturday, West declared:
“As the most important living artist, you probably could have guessed, I will be your President in 2020. Other applicants need not apply, you may be talented, but you’re not Kanye West. So shut the fuck up and enjoy the greatness.”