Professional atheist, evolutionary biologist and botherer of people who just want everyone to be nice and love each other, Richard Dawkins has been making waves again with his controversial views on budget brand dairy product I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.
Speaking at the Oxford University Debating Society earlier today Ricky D told students: “We need to take words like ‘Belief’ and ‘Faith’ out of the English language. They have no place any more, we have science which gives us proof. We shouldn’t be saying “I can’t believe it’s not butter” but rather ‘Prove to me it’s not butter’. ‘Give me solid evidence that falsifies its claim to being butter.’ ‘Give me a firm definition of the terms: Butter, Margarine and Butter-like-spread and verify its existence within those criteria.’ But please, don’t ask me to believe or not believe something’s not butter.”
Hearing of Prof. Dawkins’ comments, a representative for Unilever plc (Manufacturers of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter) spoke to BFNN saying: “Look Dawkins is an old fool isn’t he, God bless him! Just because he doesn’t want to believe in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. We did actually run some focus groups recently, thinking about a potential name change. Sadly ‘Scientifically proven not to be butter’ didn’t test well.”