Dwarf presenter of The Grand Tour and former presenter of Top Gear Richard Hammond has admitted to dabbling with frozen yoghurt whilst in college.
Hammond caused a storm this week by insisting ice cream to be a “gay” dessert, claiming that his hetrosexuality prevents him from supping the frozen delictation of a cow’s tits:
“I’ve never given a BJ so you wouldn’t catch me eating a tub of B&J”, proclaimed the angry Brummy elf. “Also i’m pretty sure that Haagen Dazs means ‘takes it up the chuff’ in German.
However, despite being the manliest of straight men, with his preferred dessert consisting of nothing but screws and molten lava, an old college room mate of Hammond’s has let slip that he once caught the rodent-faced termite indulging in some taboo frozen yoghurt action.
“I walked into the dorm we shared and found Richard under the covers spooning ferociously at some Cherry Garcia. When he saw that I’d saw, he looked like i’d caught him pleasuring a goat. He insisted that I never mention it to anybody”.
It’s possible that Hammond’s horrific drag-racer crash in 2006 may have accidentally given him the personality of a mildly-bigoted, UKIP-loving homophobe but nobody is yet to confirm this, although co-presenter Jeremy Clarkson has asked him to “stop behaving like such a goddamn poof”.