Newly issued five pound notes contain mostly horse meat, as opposed to regular market meat, according to a new study.
Notable for being impossible to tear and for bearing the image of famous alcoholic Winston Churchill, the new notes were tested for their meat content after it was rumoured that traces of fleshy substances had been found within the currency.
After it was revealed that meat was indeed discovered, the outrage came to the public that most of the meat happened to come from horses and not cows or sheep.
“It’s a disgrace that they aren’t telling us what goes into our wallets”, grumbled disgruntled lifeform Barry. “We handle cash every day and you grow accustomed to holding good old British beef in your notes. Now to be told it’s not cow but it’s horse? What else could they be lying to us about? Next they’ll be telling us that the copper that goes into coins isn’t real police officer”.
The Food Standards Agency were unavailable for comment but after the horsemeat scandal of a few years ago it is yet to be seen how they will react to this latest blunder.