The government has released a health warning today to the people of Wales as they take out their frustrations following defeat to England in Euro 2016.
Officials are concerned there could be a huge rise in inter-species infection as Wales try and cheer themselves up in the traditional, national way – by shagging a sheep. In recent years there have been spikes in cases of the sheep-to-human STI “Chlamydibaaa” at times of great Welsh failure. Experts are suggesting today’s loss could lead to an outbreak of pandemic proportions.
Farmer Owen Rhys Jones from the small Welsh village of Pontypandy said “This is bloody typical. Government stepping on our toes and trying to stop us having fun again. I’ve been shaggin’ sheep for years and it never did me any harm. You can’t beat a bit of wooly!”
However, a spokesperson from NHS Cymru told BFNN “We don’t want to stop anyone from having a good time. If people do want to go out and shag a sheep that’s fine, just so long as they are safe and wear a condom. Inter-species sex can be very dangerous and have some startling consequences. 26 years ago a woman from Cardiff had sex with a chimpanzee, the results of which has ended up playing for Real Madrid.”