This is the unfortunate news that vile perineum Stan Collymore has not been left with any lasting injury while on journalist duty in France.

Convicted wife-beater and all-round disgusting human being, Collymore was filmed shouting “journalist!” in Lille, as he attempted to film the ongoing violence between football hooligans.

But despite his pleas, the former Liverpool and Aston Villa footballer found himself sprayed by burning tear gas – though unfortunately not enough for him to sustain the injury his dickish ways have long since warranted.

One onlooker told us: “I heard Stan shout to the police that he was a journalist. He probably ended up pissing his pants. He got hit in the face with some of the gas they were spraying over all of the fans trying to disperse us but he managed to escape getting mobbed by the Russian Ultras. It’s such a shame”.

Condolences have been paid by those back home for the missed opportunity to finally give Collymore the beating he has been asking for. One tweet read “I was looking forward to being able to listen to TalkSport again without hearing his stupidly biased opinions. Couldn’t they have at least broke his leg or something?