Countdown cougar and OED enthusiast Susie Dent says a decision to remove Britain from the European Union could result in future generations of Brits being rather strapped for words to use.
“If we left the EU then, without those letters, the English language would have access to just 3 vowels, the consequences of which are such that I would not be able to write this sentence right now“, said Dent in a bizarre break of the Fourth Wall.
“And I’ve looked all through this thing“, she continued as she caressed her dictionary, “and I can’t find ‘Brexit’ anywhere in it, so I refuse to believe it’s a reality. If it’s not admissible in Scrabble, it isn’t in politics.”
The supreme Word MILF believes an existence with just A, I & O are impractical and would lead to the dumbing down of a population already internationally recognised as thick as shit.
To this end, Dent will be personally canvassing for the “Bremain” campaign (which she insists IS in the OED somewhere) around her home town of Woking, handing out “E” and “U” Countdown tiles to remind people of their obligation.
However, Schools minister and exhumed cadaver, Nick Gibb, has welcomed the possibility of a 3-voweled alphabet, saying it gives kids less to learn and that it could better prepare them for their lives ahead.
“Well, they don’t need ‘E’ or ‘U’ to understand ‘Wash my car’ so I think they’ll get along just fine“.