This is the news that the guy going round the office telling everyone how close Christmas is has been punched in the face – to everyone’s thrilled amusement.

Early medical reports suspect a broken nose after William Jebbons (27) went to each of his fellow phone pig’s pens to inform them of their quickly decreasing proximity to the world’s most famous over-hyped orgy of consumerism (and tinsel).

Jebbons’ antics are likely to have been repeated countrywide, but today marks the first time that a civil soldier of fortune has taken a stand to prevent Winterval’s tendencies to creep well into early Autumn.

A shocked onlooker told us of the incident as they witnessed it:

“He did it last year as well. Around early September you’d notice the little signs: humming jingle bells by the water cooler, things like that. Then he put a ‘naughty or nice’ board in the kitchen before it got ripped down.

This year he seems to be really into it and everybody he spoke to on Thursday (day of the incident) he would mention how close it was to Christmas. I just feigned his excitement and walked off. But Graham from accounts actually thumped him! There was a huge cheer. Hey atleast he can pretend he’s Rudolph now, right?”