The much loved, seldom seen natural phenomenon that has traditionally been free at the point of use is set to be auctioned off to the highest bidder, George Osbourne has announced.
“For too long, we have passively tolerated those in the north of the country enjoying nature’s wonders free of charge. Now it is time for those in the north to give something back to the south of the country.”
It is understood the government hopes to use the money raised to make up for revenue lost due to low oil prices.
“At a time when energy is key, we simply cannot allow all of those charged solar particles to go to waste. It is a matter of equality, and all my colleagues working on the Northern Powerhouse here in London have told me the North has had it’s fair share.”
It is unclear as yet how the privatised Aurora Borealis will be monetised. Early suggestions indicate that businesses may be allowed to tap into government surveillance systems and charge social media users per post relating to the phenomenon.
Chancellor of the Exchequer and human magpie George Osbourne has suggested this new sell-off may pave the way for future sales of naturally occurring curiosities such as blood moons, solar ecplises and comets.
Contributed by Tom Ross