Theresa May has promised to raise the amount that pensioners can expect to receive in their state benefits when they hit 70 in an effort to repay their student loans.
Maggie May Thatcher has taken a hit in the run up to the election on June 8th after many critics said she intends to leave the nations’ biddies to freeze to death with no winter allowances or calls from their sons.
However, an inside source has revealed that May is proposing an increase in state pension to help the old folk pay off their surmounting student loan fees.
With an anticipated rise in tuition fees expected to see a student’s debt rise beyond what selling their various orifices can afford, Theresa “The One Show” May has insisted that increasing pensions will see some of that debt finally being paid back.
“Graduates under my regime aren’t ever likely to earn above the 24k threshold to start repaying the loan so I intend to reduce that threshold to tax the fuck out of those layabouts” said the Prime Minister.
“By giving a little bit more back to the people who need it most, it means they can finally repay their debt to society, instead of having to try and save up and put themselves into care or something stupid like that”.