Key UKIP advocates have blamed “going to Poland stations” for the low turnout of their supporters in the most drab UK election to date.
There were highlights for UKIP on Thursday, with them making some breakthroughs in the Welsh Assembly (including the re-election of Neil Hamiltion, famous for World Cup classic “England are Jolly Dee”)
But overall it is believed that the thought of travelling to anywhere designated as an Eastern European zone was off-putting to the many legions of dull-eyed, Eurosceptics that they staunchly refused to make the short journey to the bottom of their street to vote.
One unhappy constituent told us: “I think it’s bad that they ask us to go to Poland to vote. This is a BRITISH election. It’s nothing to do with the EU. The sooner we get out of that place and Snickers has gone back to Marathon the better”.
Traditionally, good old English community centres and small churches open their doors to allow the honest, hard-working locals a place to decide which of their suit-wearing overlords would be ruling over them. However the confusion this time came from a badly-spelled Tweet detailing the Polish contingents would be helping out this time.
“I don’t want to have to walk into some scraggy polish butchers to plant my lovely, English “X”. I want to be welcomed by a dismal volunteer in an empty community hall”, said on angry Twitter resident.
Another UKIP-ite ranted that he resented having to travel all the way to Warsaw to vote as he already fucking hated Birmingham.