A woman has announced today how blessed she feels to have been able to raise a magnificent £6.70 for some starving kids by whining, gasping and sobbing her way through a two mile fun-run.
Rebecca Winston-Wilde of Coupe Green in Hoghton has been raising awareness of child hunger for two solid weeks after seeing an appeal by Oxfam.
She told our reporter, “I am an amazingly spiritual and compassionate person and seeing those skinny kids with the massive heads broke my heart. I posted my fun-run idea to raise money and also found some photos of an exhausted looking little girl, and invited people to share if they think she’s beautiful and scroll past if they want her to die. I was unbelievably humbled when ten minutes later it had got sixteen “likes,” two “loves” and three “sad faces.”
The actual fun-run was awful. I nearly passed out twice, tripped over my selfie stick, overwhelmed my Tena-lady and threw up my smashed avocado on granary toast. But I picked myself up and fought on through.”
Despite her ordeal, Ms Winston-Wilde has declared her intention to organise further fun-runs for “Retards, Spastics and Gypsies” over the next three years.
A spokesperson from Oxfam told us, “We are always very grateful for all donations to our charity and will be over the moon to receive the cheque when Ms Winston-Wilde eventually finds the time to post it to us.”