Planet Earth has breathed a collective sigh of relief as David Attenborough has been found alive and well in his home.
With celebrities dropping like flies this year, many people have long been concerned that Attenborough, sitting the wrong side of 90, would be the next to bid his goodbyes.
A heroic neighbour of David’s took it upon themselves to poke their head through the door of the saintly old man to check he was ok, and thankfully found him with a good bill of a health, though even the slightest sign of illness proved a point of extreme concern:
“He coughed a couple of times and I almost shat myself”.
Wellwishers have said they will be calling on David every day until the 1st of January to make sure everyone’s favourite national treaure (after Butlins) makes it through the year.